Tag Archives: Humor

Thank God There Was No Practical Application!

This is a short video that you will find interesting if not downright humorous. There is a phrase that, to my knowledge, appears only in the King James Version of the Bible. The reason why, according to our preacher, is that the translators of other Bibles all pee sitting down. If you are confused about what you just read, watch the video.

Again, I am happy there was no practical application.

Hey, Allah! Does This Count?

I stumbled across an interesting article this morning. You can read the whole story here, but let me just quote one statement I found interesting.

A WOULD-be suicide bomber fell down a flight of stairs and blew himself up as he headed out for an attack in Afghanistan, police say.

Wow, this guy, with visions of glory, headed out to do Allah’s will and blew himself up because he tripped down the stairs. He didn’t get to his intended target and killed only himself. Three other people were wounded, but no one else died.

Suicide bombers are taught that if they die killing infidels in Jihad, then they will be granted the reward of living in paradise with 70 some odd virgins. I am not one to make light of the death of someone else. Truth be told, I even hesitated to write this entry at all, but I’ve got a few questions with how this situation fits into Islam. What are the repercussions and will this guy be rewarded? With this in mind, here are some of my questions;

1) Is the road to paradise paved with good intentions?
2) Was it the destiny of the terrorist to die a clumsy idiot?
3) Was it the will of Allah for this guy to trip and fail his mission?
and lastly,
4) Does it count?


Chuck Norris on Mike Huckabee. If Huckabee gets elected, can we have Chuck Norris as Secretary of Defense?

Watchtower Responsible For Santa’s Heart Attack

With a heavy heart we bring you this sad news today. The beloved CHRISTmas icon of millions has suddenly and unexpectedly passed away early today, one day after CHRISTmas, 2007.

Santa Claus, born Kris Kringle, was known through out the world as a kind, gentle man whose generosity was unparalleled. Every year on the Eve of CHRISTmas Santa Claus would travel around the world delivering toys and other goodies to good little boys and girls. These toys were made throughout the year with the help of a band of elves. Once the toys were finished, they were loaded onto Santa’s sleigh which was powered by nine reindeer, the first of which has a red nose to help light the way in inclement weather. All of the toys were miraculously delivered in a single night.

Even though Claus was advanced in age, he was in extremely good health, able to climb chimneys (from the inside) and keep up with the rigors of his job with no trouble at all. That is why his passing this morning is so shocking. Claus was resting comfortably in his living room after his long CHRISTmas day and the previous night’s work when he suddenly gasped and fell over.

He is survived by Mrs. Claus, nine reindeer and an unknown number of elves. This picture was taken shortly before his death.

Twelve Days Of CHRISTmas: Day Twelve

At last, our final day! Today’s verse was going to be the only verse that was true to the original song. Having a life-long love of the drums, I was going to post twelve Youtube videos of drummers drumming. These are some pretty amazing drummers too ranging from little kids to my favorite drummer ever, Neil Peart of Rush. I’ve had the videos picked out for weeks, but because of a conversation Becky and I had last night, I’ve decided to do something different.

I am ashamed to admit that I have not been in the greatest of moods lately. Ministry keeps piling up and it does not take a break for the CHRISTmas season. Usually it slows down some, but not this year. With Mitt Romney and Mormonism being in the news as much as they are, I have been incredibly busy. The “21 questions from Fox News” alone took me three days to answer. Our web site has already had more traffic this month than any other month previously. It has been very stressful trying to keep up with all that is happening and somehow fit my family and CHRISTmas into the mix as well.

After we put the kids to bed last night, Becky and I talked about that a little bit as we sat in our living room looking at our CHRISTmas tree. I turned off all of the lights so that we could get a better look at the tree. It looked so nice that I decided to take a picture of it with our it with our presents underneath it. I wasn’t please with how the pictures were turning out. With the flash on, it was too bright and with the flash off, the room looked too red so I decided to take a video clip of it too. As I was doing so, Becky asked if she could sing a CHRISTmas carol.

What a nice simple pleasure. Becky and I talked a bit more about the things I needed to do on CHRISTmas Eve and then planned out the rest of our day. As I was laying down trying to go to sleep, I started thinking about the twelve Youtube videos and how much of a hassle that was going to be. I was reminded of the simple pleasure of Becky singing Joy To The World. Simple beats hassle almost every time!

At last our song is done. Our finalized parody is;

On the twelfth day of CHRISTmas my true love said to me,
“Becky Walker singing!”

Pretty bells are ringing!” (<— click here)

Mad Russians Christmas! (<— click here)

Lights are a flashing!” (<— click here)

Santa Claus a rockin’!” (<— two links)

Bob and Doug McKenzie!”(<—click here)

Lights are a dancing!”(<— click here)

“Ding Fries are done,(<— click here)

Twis-ted Christ-mas, (<— click here)

“Elf Bowl-ing,” (<—click here)

“Go elf yourself,” (<— click here)

“Complain about the holiday theme!”