Tag Archives: Christmas

We had this one on here last CHRISTmas. The 80’s hair band Twisted Sister put out a CHRISTmas album and had the following video for one of their songs. Now, don’t just discard the video because it is Twisted Sister. It is actually pretty good.

The song is a rock version of Oh, Come All Ye Faithful. The band goes up to the North pole, kid-naps Santa and takes over delivering presents in his sleigh. The final part of the video shows a crowd of people looking up into the sky with outstretched arms singing, “Oh come let us adore Him!” This is a welcome scene in light of today’s anti-CHRISTmas message.

Our song is now;

On the fourth day of CHRISTmas my true love said to me,
Twis-ted Christ-mas,

“Elf Bowl-ing,”

“Go elf yourself,” (<— click here)

And,
“Complain about the holiday theme!”

Here is another fun one. The first time I came across this game was a number of years ago. I’ve looked for a flash version of this game, but it only exists as a download. It is a cool little game where the elves go on strike so Santa places them on a bowling lane and bowls them down.

Today’s entry will be shorter and a lot less serious. A couple of weeks ago I was going through the Sunday paper and came across the Office Max ads. There was a url that told me to “Go elf myself.” I decided to check it out. This is really cute!

On the second day of CHRISTmas my true love said to me,
“Go elf yourself.” (<— click here)

And, “Complain about the holiday theme!”

The Twelve Days of Christmas is probably the most misunderstood part of the church year among Christians who are not part of liturgical church traditions. Contrary to much popular belief, these are not the twelve days before Christmas, but in most of the Western Church are the twelve days from Christmas until the eginning of Epiphany (January 6th; the 12 days count from December 25th until January 5th). In some traditions, the first day of Christmas begins on the evening of December 25th with the following day considered the First Day of Christmas (December 26th). In these traditions, the twelve days begin December 26 and include Epiphany on January 6.

The previous paragraph is from a web site I found that explains the Twelve days of CHRISTmas. It explains the symbology of the terms and history. This was news to me. I always thought the twelve days of CHRISTmas was a count-down towards CHRISTmas. The whole reason why I wanted to look into the twelve days of CHRISTmas was because I needed the original lyrics of the song in order to do a parody of it. Here are the original lyrics.

On the 1st day of CHRISTmas my true love gave to me…
A Partridge in a Pear Tree

On the 2nd day of CHRISTmas my true love gave to me…
Two Turtle Doves

On the 3rd day of CHRISTmas my true love gave to me…
Three French Hens

On the 4th day of CHRISTmas my true love gave to me…
Four Calling Birds

On the 5th day of CHRISTmas my true love gave to me…
Five Gold Rings

On the 6th day of CHRISTmas my true love gave to me…
Six Geese A-laying

On the 7th day of CHRISTmas my true love gave to me…
Seven Swans A-swimming

On the 8th day of CHRISTmas my true love gave to me…
Eight Maids A-milking

On the 9th day of CHRISTmas my true love gave to me…
Nine Ladies Dancing

On the 10th day of CHRISTmas my true love gave to me…
Ten Lords A-leaping

On the 11th day of CHRISTmas my true love gave to me…
Eleven Pipers Piping

On the 12th day of CHRISTmas my true love gave to me…
Twelve Drummers Drumming

Even though I now know the truth about the twelve days of CHRISTmas, I will stick to my original idea and together we will sing my parody of the well known song. The way we will do this is I will start with an explanation of what the present day is and then I’ll present my lyrics. Some of the days are serious, some are funny and some of them are just plain weird. Today, being the first day of our count-down, I will start with a serious topic.

I cannot stand the phrase, “Happy Holidays.” I am so sick and tired of our politically correct culture that is overly concerned about offending people. That is one freedom this country does not grant; freedom from offense. CHRISTmas is about CHRIST and I absolutely refuse to apologize for it. If my wishing you a Merry CHRISTmas offends you, then move to another country. Just don’t you dare try to change the meaning of this Holy day- which is the original meaning of the word “holiday” in the first place.

This politically correct attitude is so infectious that stores and restaurants refuse to use the word CHRISTmas and will substitute it with holiday. I avoid shopping for CHRISTmas gifts at places that don’t use the word. I remember going into a place that sold CHRISTmas lights and holiday trees. WHAT?! Is there such a thing as holiday lights for holiday trees or do CHRISTmas lights work on holiday trees? Why should I spend my hard earned dollars at a place that wants my CHRISTmas money, but refuses to use the word?

I would like to encourage everyone reading this to make sure to let retailers and restaurants know where you stand on this issue. If you see the word “holiday”, ask to speak to a manager and complain. If you see “CHRISTmas,” ask to speak to a manager and THANK them! Letters and e-mails are great too.

This leads us to the first line of our twelve days of CHRISTmas parody. As you read through my new song, try to keep the melody of the original song in your head. I’ll bet some of the lines will stick there long after you want them to.

On the first day of CHRISTmas my true love said to me, “Complain about the holiday theme!”